but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
