i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, beer. Big fan.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
