Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
