I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
