you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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