Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
