she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is my gift to your gina
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
