Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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