Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
