He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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