If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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