Non-Jews are for practice
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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