Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
