her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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