it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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