Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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