I bet he comes in French.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
