Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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