The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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