the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
