So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
