then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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