I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
