ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
