I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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