Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
