I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so explain again why im purple
no
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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