Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
