You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
