I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
