did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
