And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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