Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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