just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
