What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
well, you know. whores of a feather.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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