Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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