Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize