so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
