Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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