So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
