Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize