i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
