Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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