Im at strip club and am horny
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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