i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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