Plan B is the new Plan A
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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