When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
