I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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