Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
