i wish my penis had a tongue
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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