Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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