Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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