I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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