yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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