Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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