your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
