At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
