Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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