we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize
