I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
